25 March 2011


Last week, I sat in Mariana Pineda Plaza at dusk and watched a medium-sized dog leap in delight while playing with an empty aluminum can. It was more than delight; it was ecstasy. 
While that dog was playing with the can like a fucking lunatic, I became temporarily distracted by the arrival of the tiniest dog I've ever seen in my life, trotting near my bench. Maura commented, "It's so small I could fit it in my mouth," which prompted an image of her stuffing a puppy in her mouth. Do you think that's possible? Is that abusive?
Speaking of abuse, Maura's new name is RODENT SLAYER, or for short, just "Slayer." We went walking by the river today and she stepped on a dead mouse. All of its guts came squishing out. Ew.
Our latest calendar theme idea (remember Babies in Danger?) is to have an Animals with Birth Defects calendar, which would feature things like cross-eyed puppies, three-legged kittens, rabid baby squirrels with chunks of fur missing, baby rabbits with tumors, etc.

Also, it should be noted that the words for "puppy" and "horny" are too similar for my liking. Puppy= Cachorro, Horny= Cachondo. I hope I never, ever, mix those up, in any situation. Imagine if you were in bed with someone and they whispered to you, "mmm, I'm so puppy right now!" Horror. Or what if you said to a little girl walking by the river with her precious newborn terrier, "What a cute horny!"? Inappropriate, all around.

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